What happened to the doughnuts?

Have you ever thought that you might have bitten off a wee bit more than you can chew or in this case, too many devices that require Internet connectivity within the house.  I recently decided in the spirt of abundance of security to lock down all my Internet of Things (IoT) devices.  Or if you prefer group all the crap.

Err, I mean, to group all the really useful devices installed around the house that requires a connection to the Internet to function, together on a single secure network. Or if you prefer, they need the connection to the Internet so they can “phone home” and report everything they can detect about you and those in your smart home of tomorrow. 

I am sure you may have heard about Samsung TV’s carefully gathering your viewing selections and reporting this faithfully back to the Samsung Mothership. And for those of you that haven't, or think you may have escaped this big brother monitoring because you don’t have a Samsung TV. Guess what? Your “whatever brand” smart device, it is sitting in the corner monitoring and logging your viewing selection as you sit there staring at the screen wondering where the stupid remote is, so you can click to the next program.

Anyway – I logged into the firewall and changed the Wireless “Password” for the IoT network and with a smile and a whistle I was off to the races. Except of course this wasn’t how it played out.

I had completed the easy bit – I had changed the SSID and was able to test that with my iPad – all good, job done….  Except I had now to go to each of the 87 devices that had been working quite cheerfully gathering and uploading my data to the great mothership(s) somewhere, I am sure not in China at all. (although they are all made there).

This is where I discovered that changing each of the 128 devices – meant resetting each one of them and reconfiguring them with the new updated “Password” – sounds easy right?

Except, some of these devices require you to get up a ladder in the garage and find the button to reset the WIFI connection, (basically the same order of magnitude as it takes to re-arrange a Rubik’s cube back to its original state).  I am reminded of my sister proudly displaying her powers of logic in completing this quantum effort when we first got the cube – in my disbelief she had managed to do it. (I won’t mention which sister it was here, but you know who you are!).

In further inspection she had simply taken all the stickers off, one by one and placed them one by one back on, each side at a time). I wish I could have taken this same approach with the resetting of the Garage Door Openers, then EV car chargers, followed by the Nest Fire/Smoke Monitors – who thought it was a great idea to mount them to the ceiling on every level of the house anyway?

Then when I thought, I had got to everything, I am quietly informed by one of the children, that the front door lock is no longer working… oh and neither is the doorbell……

Having spent the next 3 months finding that strangely the outdoor lights and that both the floor cleaning and curtain robots have also gone on strike. I eventually got all 219 devices back on to the Internet and functioning.  Although that one switch in the bathroom for the fan seems to have developed some self-awareness and is planning something with the Amazon Echo, otherwise I have no idea why the fan turns itself on at random and the Echo proudly announces a morning news and weather summary at 7:00am each morning.

Since we are talking about mysteries – I would like someone to explain this one to me. I don’t eat doughnuts very often; however, the rest of the family have been known to enjoy an odd nibble now and again.

I decided to be nice and go and get a mixed dozen of fresh doughnuts from the local place – which is always packed with folks lining up day and night to get a fresh batch.  Why is it then, whenever I go to get one of these little rings of dough – I am disappointed to find a box full of crumbs and one discarded half eaten doughnut?

If only I had found a way to get the wireless cameras back on the Internet. I would have been able to record on video the doughnut ghost, because nobody touched them.  

Cough, Cough - Roane!

And I am also reminded that the Rubik’s cube hit the streets of the UK in 1980 – Zoe that was 43yrs and 3 months ago…. You owe me a Rubik’s cube!